THE BEAT GENERATION AND THE ANGRY YOUNG MEN

THE BEAT GENERATION AND THE ANGRY YOUNG MEN, a photo by roberthuffstutter on Flickr.

WHEN WE GET TOO TIRED TO CARE ANYMORE...
or...almost too tired to care

by Earl R. Stonebridge

There comes the time when we just get too damned tired to care...about much more than the next meal and getting enough sleep to keep from dozing at the steering wheel. Is it apathy? Too tired of what? Basically, too tired of being...an American. Oh, I know, there will be those who will say my exhaustion is a "lack of concern" for my fellow Americans, other citizens I see and sometimes speak to everyday, others I rarely see and never speak to. Would we be better citizens if we were able to speak to each other every day? That's a question for the world of "IF" and hence, a question we can toss. But really, maybe we are not talking to enough of our neighbors and our associates, our co-workers, our family members. I know that some people have more to say to strangers than they have to share with family members. Why? I asked myself that question and decided communications between family members was too complex to contemplate for inclusion in an essay of this scope; kinfolks either love to talk to each other or loathe anything but basic communication.But there is some chance for a vivid conversation with a stranger, right? Don't count on it. As Americans, we are legendary positive thinkers; well, we were once. We were weren't we? I recall lively conversations about subjects other than the price of gasoline per gallon. Do I now or did I ever think the price of gas was exciting? No, not since 1958 when gas was .21 cents per gallon. I was stupid then. I could have purchased enough to last me until now...and didn't do it. Well, not really, but I could have invested in some autos and put them in a cold storage cave. Or I could have invested several thousand dollars in an Arkansas five and ten cent store back in 1970. It became Walmart and several thousand invested eventually turned into a few cool million. I could have bought beach front property in Santa Monica in 1961 for around ten grand, that's $10,000 for a clapboard beachfront cottage with personality. But I didn't. So, I am tired...but it has nothing to do with age or yesterday's opportunities that slipped past my grasp. No, it is deeper than that. It is this burden one must carry for being American. And just what in the hell does that mean? What do you mean...tired of being American? Does anyone remember the man in the grey flannel suit? How about...The Ugly American? Tired, tired, tired of being just another American, one member of the human race most responsible for the way the world really sucks today. And all because...I am an American. You are guilty too if you're an American, especially guilty if you are a Protestant Anglo-Saxon type. Are you sick of it? Okay, you're Italian, and a Catholic,but you know what I mean, right? Sure, sure, you do. You are retired from TWA and it's all your fault! Your taxes in the thousands fed how many hungry orphans all over the world? No, don't try and count. Tired of all the crap...that's right! How many good and great men did we see driven through or pulled through the streets of Washington on the way to their graves for serving the public. Killed in cold blood for what...for being American. And there was that war in Vietnam that was all about freedom...it's long over. There's the Wall and the years between then and now. American men, new dads then... that never returned were fathers never known; they too became grandfathers in time, silent though they were, with grandchildren who left school pictures at the Wall...even in the rain. So many winters since then, since it all ended, since the men and women who were there were about to think that maybe...it was the right thing. Well, at least Vietnam is kind of a democracy today...or it seems so. The people are friendly, I have heard, to the men and women who go back to get a final glimpse. Yes, they are friendly. It's all over, all is forgiven and so on and so on. And then, just about time when it's supper time again, we hear about how many Americans were killed today...somewhere in the Middle East, in some other foreign land with towns and areas with strange names...kind of like it was in Vietnam. Tired, tired, tired...and it is happening all over again so that people in a foreign land will be able to be free...to worship as they please and enjoy freedom. Should I be thrilled that people in the Middle East will be able to worship as they please...now that we have lost another dozen or so soldiers since yesterday? You know, I just don't think I'm the only American who is tired, so very tired of hearing this. Sometimes, when we get too tired to care anymore...or think we are, we hear about another soldier who was shot by an unknown sniper. Or we see the burned and melted steel that was an American vehicle transporting four or five American soldiers who were blown up. American soldiers now being captured, tortured, shot and killed while some members of the American media complain about how the enemy is treated when we permit them to surrender ...and we wonder how much longer it will continue. We are tired, tired of trying to figure out if the war will be won sooner or later or never...May God bless our troops who are trying to do their best. Nobody but Americans care enough to fight and die for a people with a culture and spiritual belief so much different than our own.